Transformation
by juliette729
Summary: Written prior to Breaking Dawn release. This was a bit of fun I was having imagining a possibility for Bella's transformation into a Vampire.


I was pacing. I knew that was bothering Edward. He thought I was having second thoughts. I was nervous yes, but not the way he thought I was.

"Bella…" Edward's soft voice drifted across the room. It was full of anxiety.

"Hmm?" I kept up my pace. Wall, turn, door to the bathroom, turn, wall, turn……

"You don't have to do this….not right now anyway, if you don't want to."

He stopped me in my path as I had just turned to head back towards the other side of the room.

I sighed and leaned into his chest and he put his arms around me, pulling me closer.

"I'm serious Bella, we can wait, we haven't pulled your acceptance at Dartmouth yet, school starts next week, we could still go. We could wait, let you have a few more months…years." His voice trailed off at the end.

"I don't want to wait Edward, I'm ready, we're doing this, and tonight."

I looked up into the golden eyes of my husband. Husband. That was a word I was still having a bit of trouble with, but I did like it. We had been married now for three weeks. Two weeks on honeymoon, and over the past week, we…the whole Cullen clan, had packed up and headed to Alaska near acquaintances of theirs, but to a new location so we wouldn't interfere with their "hunting" or cause people to be too suspicious. Besides, the further in the wilderness we were, the better it was going to be for me.

So, what was I so nervous about? Well, tonight I was officially going to be a true Cullen, not just by marriage but by what I was going to become. My new family were all vampires and if everything went according to plan in three to four days, I was going to be one as well.

"Then why are you pacing? And biting your nails?" He looked down at me quizzically. "Please, tell me…."

This was another moment I was thankful that Edward's gift was immune on me. I needed to gather my thoughts before he heard them.

"Bella, I don't think I'm ever going to get use to not hearing your thoughts, please tell me, what's going in that head of yours."

I sighed and sat down on the leather couch that we had brought with us from Forks. In fact Edward's and now my room looked just like it had in the big white house on the river. The same black leather sofa, the same iron bed with roses, the same music collection that was now joined by my book collection, the same golden carpet. The large wall of windows was the only thing missing. It was replaced with a few smaller windows.

"I'm nervous, yes, not because I'm scared, but just because well….this is something I've never done before, it's a new experience, it's going to be a major change. It's just the uncertainty of the unknown." I knew this was what I wanted, it's just, I had wanted this for so long and now, here it was. I was sitting by the man I loved more than life itself, preparing to be able to spend an eternity with him literally.

There I hoped I had stated that in such a fashion that he couldn't get so worked up. Edward's eyes smoldered for a moment as they bore into mine. They were a bright golden color this evening. He had gone with Emmett for the day to feed, so he wouldn't feel as threatened with thirst when we got down to business later. "You really aren't frightened of what you are to become?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"This is absolutely what you want."

"Yes, to be with you for eternity."

Edward sighed and pulled me closer and into his lap. We sat there for a few moments. He stroked my hair and leaned his face into the crook of my neck. I could sense him breathing deep and then he would place tiny kisses across my throat and up my chin.

I placed my palm on his cheek and he looked up into my face. "I love you Edward. I trust you, this is what I want."

He nodded, his eyes betraying a bit of the sadness I knew he felt for what he thought he was doing to me. He felt like he was taking my soul. "Eternity without you is meaningless to me." Is what I would always tell him when he brought up that argument. I didn't want a life, no matter what that life was without him in it.

"I'm trying to memorize your warmth, your scent. It'll be gone soon." My heart skipped a beat. I knew those were two things Edward loved the most about me, and when he changes me so I can be with him eternally, he would be taking away those things.

Someone made a small knock on the door. "Come in." Edward never looked away from my eyes as he welcomed in whomever was at the door.

"Are we ready?" I turned to stare at my new "father" Carlisle.

"Bella?" I could hear the strain in Edward's voice.

"Yes. Definitely."

Edward turned my face towards him and placed both hands on either side as he leaned in and kissed me. Soft at first, tender, but quickly heating with depth. He pulled back and I was breathless. "Your last human kiss." I nodded as he got up from the couch in one swift motion with me in his arms. He walked over to our bed and placed me down on the covers and arranged the pillows so that I was comfortable.

"That ok?" I nodded not able to say anything.

Carlisle was standing next to the bed with his black doctor's bag open on the bedside table, a syringe in hand. They had figured if they were able to give me enough morphine during the process it might not be as painful.

I held out my arm. Edward had sat down on the bed next to me, he fussed with the pillows for another moment before pulling me into his embrace. He leaned in skimming his lips to mine. "I love you Bella, more than this life, more than any life."

"I know. I love you too."

I closed my eyes and held my hand out to him once again. He took it and turned my wrist up towards his face. He placed my palm to his cheek first, and ran his nose along the inside of my palm down to my wrist leaving a trail of cold kisses and then I felt it. His teeth. I let out a whimper and could feel him tense as I lay in his arms.

I could feel the rush of my heartbeat, I could feel the blood leaving my body as he drank. The pressure on my wrist increased. Just when I thought I might not be able to stand the sensation of him drinking from me any longer without crying out I felt his lips leave my skin. He placed my arm back across my body and pulled me close to him and began to rock me back and forth. I could feel his chest quake with sobs he couldn't cry. I opened my eyes and stared into his. I wanted to reach up and touch his face to tell him it was going to be ok, I would be fine, but before I could say anything I felt it, the fire. It was there now and I quickly closed my eyes to the pain and cried out.

"Carlisle!" Edward was in a panic now.

"Here, let me get to her arm Edward." Edward shifted me so that Carlisle could reach the arm in which he had drunk from.

I was starting to lose consciousness to the pain. The room felt as if it was spinning and I was being drug down into a pit of fire. The pain was spreading from my wrist up. I never felt the needle, but moments later, I felt the spiraling of the pain mix with the deep tug of the morphine. My mind felt as if it was drifting through ice and then fire. Like I was being tossed in a wave of these sensations.

It still hurt….the fire was there, why wasn't the fire going way…"fire" I managed to croak out. I couldn't thrash around and try to throw the fire off, something hard and cold was holding me. My jumbled mind clicked for a moment. Edward. "Edward, fire.." I whined out in between the tears I could feel running down my cheeks.

"Carlisle, I don't think it was enough."

"Give it a bit to take hold. I can only give her so much, and only while her flesh is still soft, human."

That's when I went under the first time. I awoke later, not knowing when or how much time had passed or even what time was. This time, not just one arm, but what felt like my whole body was burning now. I was laying on my back on what would have felt like a cloud but for the pain. Something cold, heavy was laying beside me, wrapped around me. Edward, he was there, I could see his bronze head on my chest, listening. Before I could form another thought beyond his presence and the pain I started to whimper again, and then to scream as the fire shot through my chest. I was fighting his embrace. I was burning, I needed to move, he wouldn't let me move.

"Carlisle, more, can she have more now?" I opened my eyes for the briefest of moments and saw the pain of mine reflected in his. I closed them again and pulled my head back and let the pain take me again.

Floating, I was floating…..my body ached with a dull heated ache. My head felt heavy and dull and slow. Nothing felt right. The coldness of whatever had been holding me was fading. I drifted…..

I opened my eyes. The dullness in my head was leaving. The heated ache was a bit stronger, but bearable. There was darkness. I blinked once to clear my head and to take in where I was. I wasn't drifting I was on a bed. Edward, my Edward was there, head on my chest, arms wrapped firm around my waist. I could see stars through the small windows on the opposite wall.

My mouth moved but words didn't come out, I tried again. "Edward…" it was low a whisper. It hurt to say. I closed my eyes to the pain for a moment. When I opened them again, his face was there.

"Yes, my love?"

"Is…."I swallowed again, trying to get the saliva in my mouth to work, to no avail. "Is it over?" I croaked.

"No, not yet, I can still faintly hear your heart." I nodded and sunk my head back into the pillow. Edward placed his head back into the same position it had been in.

"How's the pain?" He whispered softly.

"Bearable now. Nothing more than an intense ache…..with heat."

He nodded and looked up at me. "Carlisle can't give you any more morphine. Your flesh, your skin is already hardening, he wouldn't be able to get a needle in."

Edward shifted so that his face was above mine. "I love you, it's almost over, sleep the rest of it off, it'll be the last sleep you'll get. When you wake up next time, we'll be together for eternity."

I nodded as he placed his lips to mine. His no longer cold, but just held a slight chill. I was pulled under for the last time.

I lay still not moving except for the feel of my chest moving up and down in an action that felt like breathing. I felt as if my senses were on over drive. I could hear what I was sure was the faintest of noise amplified; I could smell the forest now in the house, even though I had not when we arrived. The cloth, the linen bed sheets I was on felt different. My throat burned.

Would the light be brighter? I slowly opened my eyes. The room was filled with a dull pink and gold glow coming from the few windows. I moved my head to the side and smiled. My angel was there. His eyes were darker than the last time I remembered staring at them, but they shone in the reflected light. I smiled, and he mimicked the gesture.

"How are you feeling?" I'm sure he whispered, I barely saw his lips move, but I heard him loud and clear. He pushed a strand of hair out of my face and behind my ear.

"I'm…..not hurting."

He nodded. "That's good."

"Everything seems to be on overdrive, all my senses."

He gave me his signature smirk. I waited for sound of my heart to skip a beat like it always did when he did that, but it didn't come. I placed my hand on my chest over where my heart belonged.

"It stopped beating a few hours ago." I nodded. I was now a new creature.

"How long did it take?"

"Tonight would have been four days. I think the morphine slowed the venom, but at least you didn't seem to be in as much pain as you would have been otherwise."

I grimaced. If the pain was less with the morphine, I couldn't imagine what the others had gone through without it.

"My throat burns."

"You're thirsty. We'll go hunting soon."

I closed my eyes for a moment and gathered my thoughts. I turned so I could face Edward better. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. His touch no longer felt cold and his hardness, the granite feel of his touch, didn't feel slightly out of place anymore.

I opened my eyes and stared at him. "Well….."

"Well, what?"

I placed my hand on his face and traced the outline of his lips and his cheeks and then placed my hand on his shoulder. "You are no longer cold to me."

"You're no longer warm." I could hear the hint of sadness in his words, the longing in his voice.

"Do I look different?" Edward smirked at my words.

"Do you want to look?"

I nodded.

He got up off the bed and tugged at my hand to follow. I did so, my foot steps not making a sound as I moved. Edward led me to the large bathroom off of our room, to the large mirror there. I couldn't see myself yet, he was standing in front of me. He moved so that I was in front of him and I stared open mouthed.

There I was, the same, but not. My hair was a shade darker and silky and shiny now in its length. I had always been pale, but now I was even a few shades cooler, the pink undertone was gone, replaced by a white glow. The semi-permanent pink tint of my cheeks was now gone as well. I would never blush again.

Before we had started the transformation I had changed into comfortable clothes, a tank top and stretch pants. They had hugged my curves and features before, but now, even more so. I still looked young, eternally 18, but it was as if my body had matured a few years into even more of a woman.

I stepped closer to the mirror and gasped as I got a good look at my eyes. There were darker patches beneath the now blood red irises.

Edward stepped up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.

"What are you thinking love?"

"I….I don't know. I don't know quiet what to think." I turned around in his embrace so I was looking at him. If I really thought about it, I was impressed. I didn't look so ordinary anymore. I looked more like a woman, more like someone who could stand next to his god like features. I mean, I didn't expect to be as beautiful as Rosalie, I mean, no one could, but I wasn't disappointed either. It was just a bit of a shock to see exactly how red my eyes were, how pale my skin had become.

I really wanted to know what Edward thought. Did he still like me the way I looked now? "Are you disappointed?"

Edward smirked down at me. "You thought I wouldn't like you as a vampire?"

I shrugged, possible, I knew my appearance would change. Edward chuckled. "I admit, I'll miss your softness and the warmth of your human body. I held onto it until it was gone, but I am in no way disappointed. You will always be beautiful to me. You are the most beautiful, goddess like creature I have ever laid my eyes on. I'm sure that will never change. Even in all the centuries I plan on spending with you."

I smiled up at him. I knew if my heart was still beating it would have been racing at this point. I leaned up on my tip toes to kiss him. He met me half way. The depth of his kiss shattered every thought in my head, he no longer had to be gentle with me and I no longer had to restrain myself. I lost myself temporarily in our embrace. I reached my arms up around his neck and pulled myself as close as I could to him, he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and practically lifted me off the floor. I no longer had to worry about not being able to breath in his presence. He could dazzle me all he wanted, and I wouldn't faint any longer.

When he pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine and smiled down at me I melted. "Your first real kiss as a vampire."

I smirked up at him myself. "Well, if I had known what that would be like once you could throw restraint to the wind, I would have forced you to turn me a long time ago."

Edward made his long suffering clucking sound at me with his tongue and then grabbed my hand and started to lead me out of our room.

"Come on, the rest of them are downstairs dying to see you now that this is all over."

I smiled as we walked hand in hand down the stairs. I was heading to see the rest of my family for what felt like the first time all over. I wondered what the others would think of me now. Edward seemed to sense my feelings. "They are all excited actually…especially Alice. She's been waiting to see this since the day I came back to Forks the first time I ran away."

I nodded. Alice had long seen me in her visions as a true part of the family. This would be her visions coming to reality. Once we reached the bottom of the stairs and before I could even look up I was hit around the waist and all I could see was the top of Alice's spiky hair.

"Bella!!"

I hugged Alice back.

"You're no longer fragile, I can hug you now properly! Come on, everyone is waiting in the living room."

Alice grabbed my hand and danced along in front of me and Edward behind. I reached back and he grabbed my other hand.

"Hey everyone, look who's come around!"

I smiled at the faces surrounding me. Carlisle and Esme were the first to approach. Both embraced me in turn. "We're so glad to fully have you apart of the family! Even though you were apart of it from the moment Edward gave you his heart. How are you feeling?" Esme was playing with my hair as she spoke smoothing it and placing it behind my shoulder.

"Good, just kinda in awe and thirsty. Definitely thirsty."

At that point I heard Emmett let out his booming chuckle and the next thing I knew my feet were off the floor as he embraced me a bear hug.

"So, bro, when are we going to take my new little sis out for a meal?"

"Soon, really soon, trust me."

I could feel Edward's hand rubbing soothing circles on my back now that Emmett had set me back down next to my husband.

Next by was Jasper and Alice was at his side. He gave me a hug as well, leaving me on the floor though.

"I'm glad I can do that now and not feel the need to stand back. I'm so glad to have you as part of the family. Your companionship makes Alice glow even more than usual and well, you've done wonders for Edward, so I guess, officially, officially welcome to the family."

I smiled at my new brother. I know that his standoffishness while I was still human was not because he didn't like me, but because he always had the hardest time being around humans. Now I guess I would be the weakest link in the family chain. At least until I could get my blood lust under control.

Alice gave me another hug before dancing off once again.

Rosalie stepped up to me and I could see a puzzled look on Edward's face. I'm sure she must be blocking her thoughts from him.

She gave me a hug as well. The first one I had ever received from her. It took me by surprise.

"I know we had different opinions on whether or not to let you remain human. However, I am glad to have you as a sister and thank you for saving Edward from himself." She gave me one more quick hug and a smirk in Edward's direction. He chuckled at whatever thought she had passed on to him.

"Come on love, let's go change and then we can take you hunting."

"I'm in. This ought to be good, I want to see this." Emmett was standing by the back door laughing his booming laugh and ready to go already.

So here we were, my new family. I truly did belong with them now and would forever. We were now equal in number, four sets of partners for eternity.


End file.
